Breaking The Silence (& Exciting News!)

Long time, no post. The world has turned upside and back to front this year, and I'd be lying if I said that it hasn't taken its toll on my mental health (as it has for a lot of people) but after an incredibly long and much needed hiatus I'm back with some exciting news to share!

Lockdown.

I feel like I need to write a disclaimer at the start of this blog post, because I know that I am in a very privileged position. I have a roof over my head and plenty of food to eat, but most importantly myself and my family are safe and have been physically unaffected by Coronavirus.

Hello Hello! A Life Update

It feels like it’s been forever since I wrote one of these posts! Of course I like to write about all things fashion, food and ‘lifestyle’ but sometimes it’s nice to share a bit of my personal life too. I have always enjoyed reading these sorts of posts (I’m nosy what can I say?) and things have been full steam ahead for me over the past couple of months, so I thought what better time to put pen to paper so to speak...

March, You Have Been Swell

My favourite seasons are by far the in-betweens. Spring and Autumn make me far happier than any other, so I'm always over the moon when March comes around! This month has been full of good things, so I thought I'd share with you some of my faves...

Practising Self Care

This is something that we should aaaall be doing a heck of a lot more, if you ask me. This month I finally got my butt into gear and started doing yoga a couple of times a week (I still haven't braved a class though!) which has made a world of difference to how I'm feeling both mentally and physically; I have also got back into writing regularly, as well as reading my second and third books of 2019. THIS GIRL HAS GOT HER MOJO BACK.
Oh and did I mention that I decided to take the plunge and get some pink in my hair? Well, I did! If you don't believe me you can see for yourself here.

Spending Time With Friends 

My friendship group is small and select, but that doesn't mean that it isn't nigh-on impossible to get everybody together in one place, at one particular time. BUT ALAS this month started off with a team brunch (which was delightful) and continued with coffees, catch ups and far too many portions of chicken chow mein to count- but whatcha gonna do? As we get older it becomes harder to maintain friendships because lets face it life gets a little bit crazy sometimes... but when we do get the opportunity to spend time together it makes us all say "we should try and do this a heck of a lot more!"

It's My Birthday, Bitch! 

The 21st of March marked my 23rd birthday, which of course meant that celebrations were in full swing... all of the food, drinks and dancing! My friends and family well and truly spoilt me, and it's safe to say that I entered my 23rd year with a BIG OL' SMILE.

Netflix, Netflix and more Netflix

I'm going to put my hands up and say that although I have done some cracking things over the past 31 days, I will always be a telly-bug. There's nothing that I love more than putting on something fleecy (and totally unacceptable to be worn outside) making a cuppa and snuggling up with a share-bag of malteasers to binge watch the 'series of the moment'... It's safe to say that this month's offerings did not disappoint, with Sex Education, The Sinner and Abducted in Plain Sight making the top three. Also, tell me I'm not the only person that finished the latter with approximately 100 questions?

The next couple of months are going to be busy, but I'm excited to see what they have in store! Lets see if we can make monthly roundups a 'thing'...

5 Thoughts On Finishing My Degree

Hi, my name is Martha and I have only flippin' gone and finished my degree! How the heck did that happen? It has been a long three years, but now I'm officially done and dusted I thought I'd share a few thoughts that I've had during my first few months of freedom...

A Note on Friendship

Over the past couple of months I have noticed a lot of bloggers talking about friendship (and their relationship with others in the industry) however this topic is something that I've never really discussed on my blog, purely for the fact that I don't have many real friends...

Twenty Eighteen: The Year Of Putting Me First

And just like that, we survived the first month of the year (and are in fact now half way through the second) There's no denying that January felt never ending, but now it's over I'm just about ready to drag myself out of the post-festive slump and FINALLY get my butt into gear... With that being said, the question that I have spent the past few weeks asking is should I make any resolutions this year? 

5 Things My Relationship Has Taught Me

This post may come as a little bit of a shock to some of you, as it's rare that I broadcast my relationship on social media. This december will mark five years since I was introduced to my better half, meaning that for 1825 days we have been laughing, eating and binge-watching every Netflix series known to man...

Lets Talk About Mental Health

I have been battling with my mental health since I was 15 years old. And the sad truth is, you never really get over it.. you will always be sensitive and that is something that I have come to terms with.

Learning To Please Myself

I turned twenty one not so long ago and without sounding like a cliché, I can't help but wonder where the heck the time has gone. It feels as though the past few years have flown by and I am yet to find the time to catch my breath.

September, I've Been Waiting For You

It feels as though I have spent the entirety of Summer wishing for September to come around- crazy right? I love new beginnings, and to me this particular month is the epitome of a fresh start.

Why Spending Time Alone is OK

I'm sure you are all familiar with the concept of introverts and extroverts; from the moment that I became aware of the difference between the two, it was as though things suddenly made sense. I will be the first to admit that there are moments in time when I am certainly 'out there', changing the way that I behave in order to adapt to the situation at hand; but ultimately, I like my own company. The thought of people being afraid of doing things alone is baffling to me, as I find the greatest peace when taking a walk and getting lost in a whirlwind of my own thoughts. Honestly, spending time alone is up there with one of my favourite things to do.

One step forward, two steps back

I don't know how to start this post, let alone go about ending it.. some may say it's a bit of an overshare but HEY, they say a problem shared is a problem halved, right? So here it goes. 

Yesterday I had an episode (I say episode because I don't really know what else to call it, but I digress). Things have been going so well for what seems like such a long time now, but suddenly I found myself feeling completely and utterly alone. You may think that this is normal, everybody has times that they feel like this don't they? Yes, but a lot of people have the ability to come to terms with the fact that they are being a bit silly and just move on. Nope, I sat weeping into my pillow, blaring music at volumes that only a crazy person could withstand.. could I get any more Bridget Jones?

Rewind a few hours and I was taking blog photos, editing away in world of my own.. I was happy. But then something sparked inside of me, like a series of fireworks going off inside my head; my anxiety was consuming me and turning me into the version of myself that I hated the most. I don't know what did it, why was this happening? I called Jack, but the normal conversation suddenly turned into an argument (through nobody's fault but my own).. I just couldn't stop talking. Like word vomit, I was saying the first thing that popped into my head and all I wanted was for the conversation to be over. Understandably he suggested that I took a few minutes to breathe, to think about what was going on inside my head and to just relax. 

As the evening went on I ran myself a bath, switched on some fairy lights and started a new book; soon enough I felt as good as new. I apologised for my 'episode', although heavens knows where that really gets me.. there's no way of knowing when it will happen again, but I figure that the least I can do is try to make things better with a soppy message and a picture of myself sporting the dog filter- little things, eh?

Like I said, I don't know how to end this post.. the point I'm making is that even if you feel in control of your emotions, there will moments of weakness and that's okay. Yes, it can be embarrassing when a nothing gets turned into a something, but if somebody really loves you, they will accept these moments of weakness and help you to move forward. This was never meant to be an appreciation post, but hey, here's to the boyfriends that deal with 'difficult' people like myself. YOU GO!

A Sunday Summary

Happy Sunday everyone- I feel like I should also take the time to say happy festive season too! I can't explain how glad I am that it is now socially acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast and decorate every inch of the house with foliage and twinkly lights, much to the dismay of everybody in the vicinity.. But hey ho, if you can't embrace festivities in December, when can you!? I know it's been a while since I've done a weekly summary, but this week has been a busy one so I thought that I'd give you a little update.

The Beauty of Boobs

Now if you're expecting to see some sort of nudie pictures, then I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. After reading Emily Ratajkowski's extract in Lena Dunham's newsletter, I felt compelled to share my thoughts on a very relevant topic- body shaming. This post has been a long time coming and when Vogue released the below statement a few weeks back, I knew it was time.

"The cleavage – those magnificent mounds pushed together to display sexual empowerment, to seduce, to inspire lust or even just to show off – is over, or at least, taking a well-earned break."

Why It's Okay Not To Have Your Shit Together

Whether it's friends, family members, or randomers that I happen to come into contact with for one reason or another, I've lost count of the amount of people that have asked me why I blog. Now by no means would I class myself as a 'successful' blogger; but after all, what is success anyway? Just because I'm not stopped walking down the street, it doesn't mean that I can't celebrate my own victories. I don't blog for fame (although I do get a little buzz when somebody recognises me at an event!), I blog for me.

Lets Talk About Anxiety

For as long as I can remember, I have filled diaries with the best and worst parts of my life; there's something special about keeping a record of significant times, having them to look back on in years to come. In many ways, blogging is no different. In the same way that I can open up my Groovy Chick diary from 2006, I can scroll through page after page of my online space, recounting my favourite moments from the past 2 years. I have always been a writer and blogging has solidified that for me; there's nothing that I get greater pleasure out of, than putting pen to paper (or typing on a keyboard!) and letting my thoughts run free. Writing makes me happy. Blogging has become to me, like many others, a way of expressing my feelings. Yes there is fear of judgement, but I find that when it comes to my own blog, it is one of the few parts of my life that I do not worry about being criticised. At the end of the day if people don't want to read it, then they don't have to. I like to write about frivolous things, such as beauty and food, but every now and then I write about something a little more personal, and it feels great. It can be hard to put these things into words, so having the ability to get it out in the open without having to say it out loud is like a breath of fresh of air.

As last week was Anxiety Awareness Week, with many influencers and celebrities speaking about their experiences, I felt that this would be the perfect time to share my own. 

Something Long Overdue: Losing A Friend

I've been wanting to write this post for some time (since early 2015 to be exact); the reason that it's taken me so long is that I simply couldn't put into words the loss that I felt, and that I still feel to this day. There is no way of sugar coating such a topic of conversation, because no matter how a person's life is taken, it doesn't make dealing with the grief any easier. Initially the purpose of this post was to offer some form of advice, however I have come to realise that in circumstances such as these, there are no number of tips, or wise words that can help. I know that everybody deals with things in different ways, thus the purpose of this post is to offer myself as somebody to talk to- a metaphorical hand to hold.

This time last week, I was surrounded by the friends and loved ones of someone special, gathered together to celebrate her 21st Birthday. This is not the way that I ever imagined spending her entrance to adulthood; we should be out, partying, stumbling home at the early hours of the morning linking arms and helping one another crawl through the front door.. but alas, this is not the case. This young girl was much more than a friend; she was outgoing, encouraging, and so full of life. Despite our paths taking us in different directions, whenever they crossed we could talk as though not a day had gone by, and in my opinion friends like those are few and far between; although she may not be here anymore, I continue to cherish the memories that we shared, and hope that she is doing something that she loves, wherever she may be. Aged 20 I would have never expected to be writing about such a dear friend in past tense; she had her whole life ahead of her, and I have no doubt that she would have done great things. Experiencing such a loss has changed my outlook on life; I try to seize every opportunity in a way that I know she would, squeezing every last drop of 'good' out of it until moving on to the next exciting thing! I would by no means call myself a religious person, but I like to think of it as having a guardian angel, forcing me to make the most of life and pushing myself to achieve greatness.

An Ongoing Battle With My Body

This is a little bit different from my usual post, however I feel that it is something that I need to address. Throughout the past few months, to say that my health has been at the forefront of my mind would be an understatement. We all go through stages of feeling deflated; whether its about our body, or our mindset, it's unavoidable.. right now my body is what is throwing me off balance, and it is a battle that I no longer have the patience, nor the energy to fight. Since I started blogging I have only touched on my experiences with bloating and digestion, amongst other food related issues, however over the past 6 months or so this has become a bigger, more tiresome part of my life, leaving me feeling all in all a little bit shit.. I love food and have no doubt that I always will (I'm the sort of girl that would marry a muffin if I could!), but over the years my relationship with the good stuff has become somewhat love/hate.

I'm not going to beat around the bush, I was irresponsible when it came to eating habits in my teens; I would go for hours without eating anything and then binge as though I didn't know when my next meal would be. But on a brighter note, I realised that I had a problem and worked hard to overcome it, and here I am, happy, hungry (always!) and relatively healthy. However, as somebody with a now very weak digestive system, my body has a tendency to react in ways that I'm sure you would much prefer me not to explain. I often find myself avoiding situations where I have to eat in public, due to the fear of excruciating stomach pains and bloating to such an extent that people start to look at me funny- I have taken to accepting the encouraging smiles, finding it far less embarrassing than having to explain a situation that is yet to be diagnosed. 

I am now on a mission to rebalance my body, forcing myself to cut out the foods that don't agree with me and making small changes to my eating habits in general. I have been made aware on several occasions that foods with a high gluten content don't mesh well with my body, and the same goes for too much dairy, so I am slowly building up my collection of cook books, in search of some delicious and nutritious recipes that do not contain such ingredients.. suggestions are welcome, I would love to hear from you! 

I have also undertaken a new exercise regime, trying to work out at least 3 times a week (as well as forcing myself to take the stairs!) in hope that alongside my foodie changes it will help me on my way.

Over the next couple of months I shall be sharing my journey to achieving a happier, healthier body, so please do not hesitate to get in touch and share your stories if you are going through something similar- don't suffer in silence, I would love to talk.

Braving Individuality

Now by no means would I say that I am particularly 'fashionable', but in this day and age, I really don't think that's an issue. In the field of work that I'm in, it is my job to pick key, on-trend pieces and wear them in a way that represents my personal style; whether I look fashionable or not, well that's another story. The idea of personal style has definitely changed with the rise of blogging, vlogging and social media, with well known names inspiring others to be confident enough to wear exactly what they want.. Who said it wasn't cool to wear pleated trousers anyway!? We are still bombarded with celebrity images left right and centre, but I know for me, I tend to pay more attention to street style trends, as I find that they are much more relevant when it comes to my own style (and price range!).