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Learning To Please Myself

I turned twenty one not so long ago and without sounding like a cliché, I can't help but wonder where the heck the time has gone. It feels as though the past few years have flown by and I am yet to find the time to catch my breath.

What I wouldn't give to be one of those people that know exactly what they want to be doing and where they want to be doing it; you'd think that with my incessant planning/organising it would be inevitable right? WRONG.

The fact of the matter is, I don't know what I'm going to be doing in a years time as far as goals are concerned. Right now I just want to be happy (what a sop) Over the years I have come to terms with the fact that I am a serial people pleaser; I like to make other people happy, whether that be my boss, my other half or the lady serving me at the supermarket.. I would much rather help somebody else than help myself. So in the spirit of new beginnings (read the post here) a few weeks back I decided that I was going to make a conscious effort to change my mindset, focusing on helping myself instead of trying to please others. And do you want to know the secret to my success? Saying NO.

It may sound a little silly, but you'd be surprised how hard it can be to say that word. Two letters and a single syllable, yet many of us find it near enough impossible- it shouldn't be this difficult. As women we should be able to stand up for ourselves, refusing to participate in anything that makes us feel sad, stressed or down right uncomfortable, yet we allow ourselves to get bogged down by the countless tasks that we have unwillingly agreed to.

If you've been reading my blog for some time you will know that I suffer from anxiety which is often triggered by the feeling of losing control, therefore the obvious (?) solution is to remove the things that may or may not lead to my emotional demise. As much as I love both of my jobs, it can be super difficult juggling the two (as well as studying and blogging as well!) so over the past few weeks I have turned down the opportunity for some extra pennies as well as plucking up the courage to say no to some pretty degrading blog offers. Yes, it can be nerve wracking, but the chances are that things will work out OK in end.

Life is far too short to worry about pleasing other people; you do you. 

1 comment:

  1. This is such an important topic and I agree with everything you've said! I'm the exact same in terms of making other people happy and putting them first instead of my own happiness. Over the last few months I have started to focus more on myself and my health as I realise now that they are priority and should be everyone's priority.
    Saying no is something I struggle with too and I hope in the near future I have more confidence in my decision making.
    A lovely read, thanks for sharing!

    Abs x


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