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20.12.18

What 2018 Has Taught Me

Although I am well aware that we still have a small (and arguably the best) part of the year remaining, if I'm not mistaken I wrote a post like this at the end of 2017 and then never got around to posting it, so thought that I would seize this moment of reflection and put pen to paper so to speak.

1. Spontaneity terrifies me. There's no denying that I am the queen of organisation (aka low-key control freak) so it will come as no surprise to find that I freak out when things don't go according to plan. Although this is something that I have learnt to accept, recently I have been haunted by the fear that I'm missing out on things because I'm too afraid to say yes to things that haven't been scheduled in advance; so from this point onwards I want to be little more open to the possibility of jumping in feet first and thinking about the consequences later!

2. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help. I have written about my struggles with anxiety in the past, but this year my feelings have got the better of me and I have had no choice but to ask for help- but that's okay. With the help of my family and friends I am working on managing my mental health, coming to terms with the fact that it is okay not to be 'on' all of the time, and finding out what does and doesn't work for me.

3. I've only got one body, so it's time to start giving it some TLC. After years of lady-problems I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) in April, and although this is far more common than I originally thought it has definitely made me take a step back and think about the decisions that I'm making... If I have learnt just one thing from hours of googling (sorry mum!) it is that in order to regain control of my body, I need to start implementing some changes asap. That means more exercise, less sweet treats, and a heck of a lot more mindfulness! Maybe 2019 will see the return of the yogi?

4. I will never be a fashion blogger. Although fashion is something that I am very passionate about (who doesn't love a bit of snazz?) I find the process of creating content surrounding it neither easy, nor enjoyable- boo-hoo. There's no use pretending that I'm shy when it comes to voicing my thoughts and opinions, so I would much rather put my time and energy into writing posts that will spark some sort of feels... I thrive on the concept that people will take something away from my blog, whether it's the idea of trying something new, or the feeling of relief in knowing that another person is going through a similar experience. Above all else, I want to encourage people to talk 'taboo'!

5. I am not a quitter. This year has been full of achievements, each of which took a heck of a lot of determination and hard work. I finished my degree and got promoted at work  (as well as taking on some exciting side projects) and the truth is I am really bloomin' proud of what I have achieved. Despite being terrified about what the next twelve months has in store, I'm prepared to work my bollocks off to get where I want to be. Come at me 2019!

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