A Note on Friendship

Over the past couple of months I have noticed a lot of bloggers talking about friendship (and their relationship with others in the industry) however this topic is something that I've never really discussed on my blog, purely for the fact that I don't have many real friends...

I will happily admit the fact that I don't have a best friend (bff if you will) however what I have instead is small, select group of people that I love dearly and certainly wouldn't change if given the chance. If I'm being completely honest with myself I could have made more effort when it came to making friends at school and college and although I was part of a solid group, I left both places with only a handful of people that I was genuinely close to and still see to this day. With that being said, in my humble opinion friendships are things that shouldn't be forced, but should instead be built upon mutual likes and dislikes (and more importantly a shared love of Chinese food) so really I'm secretly pleased that I didn't waste my time on fake friendships. It's harsh, but very true..!

As an introvert it's safe to say that I find making friends very difficult, especially when thrown into situations with large groups of people. As somebody that opted for the 'stay at home degree' I was never faced with awkward freshers events or get-to-know-you sessions (much to my relief) but that doesn't mean that I haven't experienced my fair share of awkward small talk. When attending work events it is impossible to avoid talking about myself, however surprisingly this something that I dread... In social situations I am much  happier taking a backseat, preferring to listen than participate, and although I have been pulled up on seeming 'rude' in the past rest assured this is not the intention #restingbitchface.

I have spent years feeling like an outsider looking in, wondering whether people 'actually like me' or if I'm just being accepted into the fold because people feel like they have to. The fact of the matter is that 99% of the time this is NOT the case, but my old friends  anxiety and self doubt just like to wreak havoc (fyi they are not my friends). There's no denying that my anxiety has played a part in my inability to build close relationships with people but that is something that I am determined to tackle head on this year, reminding myself that rejection is not something to be scared of and that some people just 'don't mesh well'. Oh and if you can tell me where that quote came from we can totally be friends.

Having spoken to several other people in their 20's I have found that I am not alone when I say that I would like more friends, but alas find the process a difficult one- it seems that the older we get, the harder it gets! And as somebody who doesn't drink, spends a lot of time working from home and has very little free time, I know that when it comes to building friendships I have to make a little more effort than the average person... but I'm not prepared to settle. I wouldn't dream of settling when it came to a relationship, so why should I settle when it comes to my girls? This year I'm determined to dedicate more time to friendships both old and new, hoping to end 2018 surrounded by a kick-ass group of people who will be equally as happy to devour copious amounts of brunch with me as they will listen to me whinge about late invoices and the fact that none of my socks match. Because what are friends for, eh?

PS. I just wanted to give 'The F-Word' a special mention (hence its appearance in the picture) because I'm loving every minute of this beautiful book. Go Lily!